On Spiritual Evolution

some things I've come to believe

Evolution is usually a biological concept. Synonyms for the verb to evolve are develop, elaborate, unfold. When I speak of spiritual evolution I’m referring to the gradual development and unfolding of our spirituality over time, an ongoing process rather than a single event. If we are living reflectively, we can look back and see how our beliefs have changed and, hopefully, gotten more profound and mature. Let me give you a few examples of how things moved in a more helpful direction over the course of my life:

From fear to loving trust

Over the years it became important for me to leave behind my childhood faith and embrace a more mature adult faith that made better sense and could sustain me as I made my way through life. Sometimes I feared I was “losing my faith,” but it was a necessary part of growing up. When As a child I was taught to imagine Jesus watching my actions and being disappointed in my failures. As I mentioned earlier, I believed I deserved to be punished, because it was my sins that made Jesus suffer.

Today, however, I know Jesus as a compassionate and understanding friend rather than as judge, a lover rather than a disciplinarian. I came to grasp what the Gospels told me about Him, about His patience, His willingness to forgive, His encouragement, His reassurance. Most importantly, as a victim of the Brothers, I felt vindicated by how He spoke out against religious leaders who were far more interested in controlling others than in helping them in their real struggles.

2. From shame to hope

I came to realize the dissonance between what I had been told and what I was experiencing in my life. Evolution is positive. I came to understand that I am not defective or disordered, but rather that where I am in life is good and complete within itself and there will always be more to discover.

3. From criticism to creativity.

Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way: a Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, is one of the books that inspired me the most along the way. Her book helped see my creativity as a gift of the Creator God, something I could trust rather than fear and nourish rather than inhibit it. She taught me to recognize my inner Critic and to silence its toxic accusations. She awakened my sense of responsibility, acknowledging my duty to give back to the world from what I had received from God and in that way, to participate in God’s own creativity.

Nonetheless, there were always struggles to overcome. Despite how successful my work as an educator was, I was continually criticized, challenged and even sabotaged by my superior who was overly critical of everyone who worked for him. I was able to put things in a helpful perspective once I discovered that artistic, scientific, theological and technical inventions were often scorned or even condemned by opponents.

4. From toxic to supportive faith.

I believe that growth and transformation are woven into the fabric of reality. In time I came to see my faith as something that could continually nourish, inspire, guide and challenge me. This is a crucial fact. If our religion cannot abide our transformation, we must either find a way to live with the dissonance or consider making a change. However, when our supports our evolution, we can appreciate, understand, and cherish it on an even more profound level.

Conclusion: the hope of the Resurrection

I believe that Jesus’ whole life from conception to resurrection shows us that our evolution is not a destination but rather a goal toward which all life is directed. He favored the process of evolution. He spoke out fiercely against hypocrisy and against those who oppressed the vulnerable.

Despite the blows that life has sometimes dealt me, I’ve come to believe that reality is grounded in a benevolent creative presence. My God is the ultimate benevolent Creator and we are God’s cherished creatures. We are precious. We are loved. We are sacred stuff, always in the process of becoming.

Think of this.

Wonder about it.

Let it humble you.

Let it lift you into bliss:

Divine Creative Energy

willed you to be.

Among billions of galaxies,

you are a speck of love

existing eternally.

I’ve come to see evil as that which seeks to reverse, inhibit, or devalue all of this. However, I believe that the Resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead is the single enduring demonstration that the power of (God’s) love and mercy ultimately triumphs.

Let me conclude by offering you this “poetic summary” of my own personal evolution:

I was born in light

but darkness sought

to overcome the good.

I thrashed about,

caught up

in a frantic

relentless pursuit

of lies, delusions,

and false promises.

But still, the Light was there,

waiting for me

on the other side

of my promiscuous

lunacy.

There it was,

seeping through the cracks

in my armor, unafraid

to wait for the day

when I could realize

that what I’d been seeking

was never Light,

only the illusion

of relief

Now, at last,

Light could begin

its work.

It was quite a tale to tell,

how it all evolved.

Some days

I shudder to think

where I’d been

before the Light

blazed in glory

and wrapped me

in its tender healing arms

that even now still bear

the marks of nails.

Over it all,

angels have flown

a banner, proclaiming,

“Away with you, Satan.

God is the ultimate goodness.

Your evil will never prevail.”